Jan 19/19 Vancouver Hash Run

Posted by Shagger : Friday, Jan 18, 2019
The next running of the Vancouver Hash House Harriers will be Saturday Jan 19/19 @ 2:15 PM, The run will start at Chaldecott Park at the corner of 26th Av and Wallace St. The hare is Shagger and the On On is TBA

Posted by Shagger on 01/18 at 06:14 PM

Jan 12 Hash Words

Posted by Plunger : Saturday, Jan 12, 2019
VH3 Run No.1696, or something like that.
Hared by Plunger, 1415, Saturday, 12th January, 2019.
Meeting place, off Eagle Mountain Drive by Scott Creek, North Coquitlam.

Captain Hymen Grinder
Cream Puff
Liquor canoe, Bellingham
Missing Link
Hardon & LargeAss
Sex with the Beast
Sheep Shagger
Canadian Club
Shit on my Face, Bellingham
Porno Prick & Mr.P

Dyeus Phter smiled kindly On On us. The Eagle was 12.4 km from start to finish with a 4 km Turkey for the others. Although entirely under the coniferous canopy sunlight speckled the sylvan setting, glossy streams of clear cool water bubbled happily over round rocks and hand carved baulks of soft wood mounted on pine trunks allowed us to cross at least 8 streams with dry feet. We ascended around 400 M to the NW before cresting a spur and slowly turning S and then SE, down towards the pylon route. The trail led across the pylon trail meeting the Eagle Mountain Drive sub-division at its NW tip, up onto another spur and the the BC well serviced with copious quantities of the amber nectar... and yes, water and soft drinks.

Missing Link and a Canadian Club went missing and were never seen again, and finally Nemo hurtled off to retrieve them and then they were all missing. Malice followed a back check to the end and never made up the lost ground. The Captain started late and poor Hardon was like Gramma' upon hearing that a favourite nephew was a bouncer in a whorehouse - even LargeAss could feel the strange vibes, he stopped barking. 3D provided commentary. The Captain eventually returned only to learn that a birds arsehole is a Cloaca. Of course, at first, everyone thought it must be a reference to making a Japanese flag of a birds ass, but Hardon explained that he was referring to an avian's arsehole we were simply gobsmacked by his great depth of knowledge. Somehow, we had thought this pool was quite shallow, but there is indeed a deep-end protected by a great fur hat. Down Downs were handled by Shagger, the Visitors sang long rugby songs with admirable time keeping and in-tune, while we did our usual finger gesturing and a few four line choruses in voices ranging from the warble to the quaver.

At last the fun was over and done, and off we went to the St.Jame's Well which was positively bursting with imbibers. An excellent hash and next weeks will be hared by his Excellency, Shaggarish.

Thank you Plunger!

On On!
Posted by Plunger on 01/12 at 08:56 PM

Jan 5 Hash Words

Posted by Plunger : Saturday, Jan 05, 2019
The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1685, maybe.

Hared by Banshee from Caernarfon Park at 16th & MacKenzie in Vancouver West. They can't spell, but only the Welsh care.

His excellency Shaggarish, Hardon & LargeAss, How you doin' (but only valid when accompanied by dramatic finger gesturing as per the stupidest TV programme ever broadcast), Abysmal & Impaler, Mountme, Malice, Captain Hymen Grinder, P2, Beheader and not forgetting Special Needs attended. All inchoate after long difficult Christmas celebrations.

The rain held off and the streets shone with that special salubrious effulgence that only money can lend. Banshee laid the marks in flour and green chalk, all artistically arranged to meld perfectly into our surroundings, and off we trotted. First East then back towards the park, and then South and West, and finally North towards Kitsilano. We wriggled and spun around alleys, lanes, streets, twitterns, never once on a main road except to cross them. We passed every conceivable item of Christmas detritus piled high against every back fence and a few stunned residents dressed like Russians after a hard day in the Siberian salt mines compete with Cossack Ushankas, goose down coats and rabbit fur gloves. After all, it was 12dC when we started. Meanwhile, we in T-shorts and shorts ambled along Banshee's excellent markings, back checks, falsies and so on, waiting for a hint... left or right. It was right, then left and finally paralleling Canarvon between Trutch and MacKenzie to the beer check. Porno following one of many falsies found Beheader headed purposefully in the wrong direction... the beer check hove into view on a 4-wheeled contraption towed by the hare. Plenty of refreshments but Hardon, LargeAss and How you Doin' were missing and only made it back to the start in time for Down Downs. El Capitan handled matters from there on. Hardon drank for wearing things for looking up trouser legs, How You Doin' accosted a lady on the street - the entire Hash went rigid in anticipation of the imminent arrival of a regiment of policemen, but all was well - they knew one another, thank God for that. Hardon stole the dog's bone - and tossed it into the circle. Still, at least it wasn't chicken wings with Assault & Pepper.

After successfully concluding the necessary business we adjourned to Darby's for pub fayre accompanied by suitable refreshments. A good time was had by all.

Thank you Banshee.
Next week's hare is Plunger.
Then, Shaggarish.
After that: who knows? The Captain?

On On On!
Posted by Plunger on 01/05 at 10:22 PM

Hash Words for Jan 1

Posted by Plunger : Wednesday, Jan 02, 2019
The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run Number 1684, or something like it...
New Year's Day - 1st January, 2019, hared by M'Alice.

Our seasoned hare, who is thinking of turning professional, turned in a bravo performance, simply without doubt the best run of the year. Dangler, dressed all in black with hoody, dark glasses and a machine gun tucked under his coat - no wait, I think he was just happy to see us, Sheep Shagger, Nemo, Missing Link, Canadian Club, Sex with the Beast, and P2 circled the park looking for the hare. Suddenly, like a rabbit drawn from a tall hat he was amongst us with tales of woe and calumny. Yes, it is true, he has cancelled all his credit cards and now walks the street penniless with only a head of curly hair (yes, really), a hundred beers and a handful of Nemo's Brie to sustain him. This sudden and unexpected turn of events came about about 500M from the end of the run when M'Alice reached into his pocket for the comforting touch of a bulging wallet, only to find a handful of nuts. "Buggeration", he said, "I must have dropped it." So, back around the trail he went, twice, but no wallet to be found. Then, with fear gnawing hungrily at his entrails he returned to the sanctuary of his castle and began calling banks and such like cancelling this and terminating that... then, a funny thing happened. "Wait," he said to himself, "maybe I should check the jacket I wore last night...", and lo, the greatest, bestest gift he could have possibly imagined for the New Year was in his hands. But, alas, it was too late, cards cancelled, DDs deaded, bridges burned, etc, etc, you get the message.

Shagger forgot to bring any money, M'Alice forgot to bring water or soft drinks. Still, we who are unworthy will undoubtedly face similar trials of our own.

The trail ran West to The footbridge over TC1 to Rupert Pitch & Putt, South by the Sikh Temple, through the co-op housing to Rupert Station and then East along the bike trail to Gilmore, a dog leg onto Still Creek Road and back onto the bike trail. At this point the trail made a discrete turn to the North across the railroad to the beer check; which Shagger and Dangler by dint of a daring shortcut attended. The balance of the hounds confounded by the discretion met back at the start cheered by a gift of potato chips from Dangler ("I don't do carbs") to M'Alice ("I don't do carbs"), and Brie and biscuits from Nemo and Missing Link - thank heavens for Christmas leftovers! Shagger left to continue an assault on a pail of spaghetti, Dangler presumably to the garden since daughter is home from Dalhousie, M'Alice to ruminate on the 24 kilometres he covered for the Hash and in searching for his "lost" wallet.

Alls well that ends well. Well done M'Alice!
On On On into 2019, next week's hare is Banshee, and Plunger the week after that.
Posted by Plunger on 01/02 at 12:52 PM

Hash Words Dec 29

Posted by Plunger : Sunday, Dec 30, 2018
The Vancouver Hash House Harriers Post Christmas & Pre New Year's Day Run,
Run 1683, possibly. 1415, Saturday, 29-December-2018

Forget drowned rats, the hare had to wear scuba gear to set this one. The rain fell in sheets, puddles became ponds and rivers that could be waded on Thursday were up 3M. Mr.P didn't even have to jump in the river - it came to him. Hands dipped in flour became massive misshapen maws. Then, at 1400 the rain ceased, the clouds sped away to the South and the Sun shone, wanly at first but warm enough for the cockles of my heart.

His Excellency Shaggarish, Banshee, Plunger, Captain Hymen Grinder, 1/4 Cup visiting from Mira Loma, Makes his own Gravy and Bouncing Boobs (sorry, this might be wrong but the bobbing was a distraction) from Salt Lake City, M'Alice, Beheader, Mountme, Dirty Hari briefly on the way home to bed, and Pylon at the On On On. This was an astonishing turn-out, but of course not undeserved.

We met where the Baden-Powell Trail crosses Old Lillooet Road, there was just enough parking for everyone - evidently the Hash Gods were with us, and... no one was lost; which means I don't have to come back on Tuesday.

At 1430 precisely, the hounds sped off to the North, diving into the bushes by the Old Shooting Range, down into the river valley complete with stream crossings, the odd twig or two, and a glorious view of the waterfall cascading out fully 10M from the high point. Then, along the river bank to the brand new suspension bridge replacing the old Twin Bridges, up the Baden Powell onto the bluff where 1/4 Cup was accosted by a woman demanding to know why he was wearing a skirt. A question not far from our own minds, and then by a series of ridge trails back down to Fisherman's, across the Lynn at the top of Riverside Drive, up the new steps and along the rough trails on the East side of the ridge and finally to the beer check tucked away in the back of beyond and out of sight of curious onlookers... The gift that only a potato can give was washed down with Czech, Slovakian, Dutch, Danish, and Chinese beers. Down Downs back at the cars led by Kapitan Jungfernhäutchens Muehle with the usual important transactions accomplished satisfactorily, and finally to the Maplewood for more beer.

Maybe Pylon will be setting the New Year's Day Hash?
On On!
Posted by Plunger on 12/30 at 12:14 AM

2019 Hareline

Posted by Plunger : Saturday, Dec 29, 2018
Jan 1 - Malice
Jan 5 - Banshee
Jan 12 - Plunger
Jan 19 - Sheep Shagger
Posted by Plunger on 12/29 at 07:04 PM

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