Vancouver Hash House Harriers

Jan 21 2012

Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1315 of 1415, Saturday, 21-January-2012
at
Spanish Banks, Vancouver West
By
Banshee

20 hounds and the hare made it to the start of the run. The wind blew cool and the ground was soggy, and considering the snow at Whistler is deep and crisp and even, and that the 'nucks were playing this is an agreeable number: Low Blow & Lucy, Beheader, Captain Hymen Grinder, Impaler, Mike, Abysmal, Until Next Week, Goes Down Easy, Anne, Dangler, Rump Roast, Squid Lips, YFI, Analyser, Sheep Shagger, Plunger, Malice, & Porno Prick all made it, and Manhole showed up at the Regal Beagle after a long day packing for Cambodia.

Roast has given Manhole numerous introductions his many contacts in the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh, of whom many have received his donations. He says she can slip right in.

So, this was a live run, cunning and ingenious, fraught with possibilities but risky for shor-tcutting-bastards such as Shagger and Schmekl. Maple never was able to find the BC and Shagger cut it off so short that he arrived early and almost outsmarted himself.

From the beach we headed E, entering the Endowment Lands via the rebuilt access path and thence in a long loop to the W and NW before unexpectedly looping S and E along the E edge of the Lands, then N before dropping down through the neighbourhoods to the gap in the infamous graffiti wall, amongst the most expensive brambles in Vancouver and possibly the world, and finally down the path lined with steel tubes and odd little bits of angle iron, across the stream and so to the beer check.

Shagger and Plunger were first in, Malice and Beheader last. We lolled in the pale sunshine sipping our beer check nectar and the ambrosia that is Old Dutch chips and Cheezies. Alas, the cold returned in ernest, and we removed to the beach for Down Downs and were promptly inundated with a staggering numbers of dogs: three Jack Russell terriers, a Boston terrier, a Collie, three hairy beasties, and a large dog of uncertain ancestry - WWTF?
The Captain led us in our prayers, and there was much rejoicing. After a decent interval we adjourned to the Regal Beagle for refreshment. A good time was had by all.

Remember, next week is Manhole's charity fund raiser at the Billy Bishop, and this will be serviced by Low Blow and her BBC band, with brilliant prizes, and much, much more, so be there and do some good.
ON ON!

Jan 14 2012

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1314 of 1415, Saturday, 14-January-2012
by
Abysmal, assisted by Impaler
(hash run number amended courtesy of hash historian, Horny)

Ann, Marcus, Maple Dick, Paul, Mike, Until Next Week, Impaler, Banshee, Dangler, Shagger, Cream Puff, Cream Filling, Goes DOwn Easy, Friend of Puffy, Pigeon Stool, Porno Prick, Malice, Hardon with Shitty & Roadkill, Beheader, Aw Fuck It, Captain Hymen Grinder, Plunger, I'll Take the Fat Chick, Manhole & Goatfucker (later), YFI (later), and Abysmal (hare) Yes, folks, that's 23 hounds, a hare, and three late comers - not bad for a cold day in January.

A fierce wind, the odd snow flake, and temperatures just above freezing did not bode well for this run, but let the numbers speak for themselves! Abysmal was busy scurrying along the N Shore trails as the hounds assembled, and so we were greeted and instructed by his inamorata, Impaler.

At last the moment came and off we lurched across Marine Drive and up in to the hills W of the creek, emerging into the sunshine above Highway No.1 before a brief jink W before a long curve to the E and much wiggling and snurgling back across Marine Drive, over the new footbridge W of Fell, and finally to the beer check in the foreshore park. Shagger estimated 8~9 K.

Alas, the hounds arrived a full 20 minutes ahead of the hare and his beer, allowing Porno Prick to make-up for the time lost during his short-cut; which added a good 3 K and twenty minutes to his own personal hash.

From there we retreated to the woods for Down Downs, Abysmal receiving the Hash Trash for late beer delivery, and Hardon and Beheader for being DFL and DDFL. As it was getting a mite cool we abandoned the woods for the warmth of the Hurricane Grill where we received Chatelaine's full attention with free jugs of beer, and a really quite good prime rib special.

At this point the wheels came off the bus and a group of hardy hashers deployed to AFI's for beer and Bailey's, with the result that I am nursing a hangover the size of Montreal. However, much fun was had by all and we finally escaped into the freezing night and back home by ten o'clock! Except, that is, for Ann, Cream Puff and Goes Down Easy who were heading off to Cougar Creek for a meat sandwich...

Next week's Run No.1315 will be hared by Banshee and he thinks it will start from Spanish Banks - watch this page: http://ww w.vanhash.com

On On!

Jan 7 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1315
at
14th at Clark Park, East Vancouver, Saturday, 07-January-2012
by
Maple Dick

Maple Dick (hare), Jammer, Beheader, Cream Filled, Manhole, Mountme, Marcus (returning), Irish Boy No.1 and Irish Boy No.2, Captain Hymen Grinder, Comes Naturally, Banshee, Horny, Until Next Week, Plunger, Dangler, Hardon with Shitty & Roadkill, Banshee, Porno Prick, Sex with the Beast (just visiting), I'take the Fat Chick & ITFC's pal (just visiting), Malice, Aw Fuck It, Abysmal - yes folks, that's a solid 21 hounds, a hare and 3 visiting, not bad considering the weather...

Maple Schmekl was found sipping carefully from a beer, protecting its oral orifice from the rain drops beneath the canopy of an evergreen. Ja, he says, I ran out of flour. Oh, and by the way, a lot of the trail is marked with orange chalk. Anyway, he says, this was supposed to be Analyser's run, so blame her... It is hard to argue with this faultless logic. And there is a Schnapps Check, lots of beer and the On On On is at Toby's - this is all mostly good news and off we go.

Fortunately, there are enough of us to cover most of the alternative routes, and so despite the absence of discernible marks, marks on trees, marks under bushes, no marks at all, and so on we head vaguely Easterly through John Hendry Park, Beaconsfield Park, and thence to the East side of Renfrew Ravine Park for the Schnapps Check on Atlin Street, from there we follow the Skytrain to General Brock Park before easing our way N to the Beer Check in the shadow of Tyee Elementary at 19th and Dumbfries.

Numerous calls are made and received and slowly the pack re-gathers itself to celebrate the profound relief that another of Maple's "puzzles within an enigma" runs is complete.

Fropm there it is a brief skip N to Clark Park and Down Downs are enjoyed by all. Comes Naturally for dressing up in red velour track suit with matching cap and shoes (and not running a step), the Irishmen for leading the pack with unerring inaccuracy, and so on and on.

Eventually we retire to the Toby - and underestimated establishment the talents of whose wait staff far exceeds that of their chef. It is here that we are mooned by "anonymous" hashers, and much much merryment is had by all.

Good on, Maple! On On!

Jan 1 2012

Monday, January 02, 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1314
at
Myrtle Park, Deep Cove, 1100, Sunday, 01-January-2012
by
Malice

Your scribe forgot his camera and these are supplied supplied compliments of Cream Filled.

Malice (hare), Do Me First (co-conspirator), Beaheader & Trevor (aka Not Harvey), Low Blow & Lucy, Flat Bloke and Vicky, Aw Fuck It & YFI, Plunger & Creamfilled, Porno Prick, Hardon & Akiko, Shitty & Roadkill, Captain Hymen Grinder & Diane, Banshee, Analyser, Maple Dick, Goat Fucker & Manhole (nursing broken ribs), Abysmal & Impaler, and Dangler, yes folks, that's 20 hounds, 3 wannabees, and a hare. Oh, Monkey Licker and his Significant Other also made an appearance and joined us at the Raven.

The idea of meeting at Deep Cove was to witness the annual Polar Bear Swim and to avoid the humbuggery we have come to associate with the same event at Stanley park - no sodding parking, huge bloody crowds, annoying officials with silly rules, and expensive food accompanied by warm beer - yuch.

Malice surpassed himself with this minor epic stretching from the broad and child-filled plains of Myrtle Park to the beer check above the basalt cliffs overlooking Bedwell Bay. Hashers still heavy lidded from their excesses of the night before struggled to maintain some semblance of normalcy: Dangler distinctly queasy and unable to even choke down a chip or a beer! He was not alone, DMF nursing a hangover the size of Mozambique, and so on. Malice pre-laid the run from Myrtle Park to Panorama Drive, tying into the trails leading onto the Baden-Powell Trail, thence up the hill to the road and along to the B-P trail again and to the Beer Check at the lookout. From there we scurried back along the B-P Trail and finally into Deep Cove for the Polar Bear Swim activities including happy throngs around a huge bonfire and young people - almost exclusively young girls (why?) - who dashed in and out of the water. Plunger, Porno Prick and Impaler braved the chilly waters of the inlet for a plunge - very bracing.

Down Downs were conducted carefully in the parking area although surrounded by kids and their parents and a veritable encyclopoedia of doggy breeds. Even the Captain was tongue tied after the night's excesses but all went well and a good time was had by all followed by a mass migration to the warmth of the Raven for lashings of beer and hot food. From there a much depleted hoard invaded chez Blow for even more beer, much mirth at Do Me First and her 'Onsie' and from there to chez Prick for yet more.

All in all an excellent run and an excellent start to the New Year with swollen livers, blood shot eyes and the inevitable hangovers to remember it by.

Plunger is looking for a hare for next week, call him on 604 842 8601 or e-mail him at robruf1@gmail.com.

On On for 2012!