Vancouver Hash House Harriers

Feb 4 2012

Saturday, February 04, 2012

The Vancouver Hash Harriers
Run No.1319 of 1415, Saturday, 04-February-2012
at
AirForceArmyNavy Building at 23rd & Main
by
Cream Filling

Cream Filling hosted this run, glorious in all her personalities and gushing with energy and vigor. A heroic few that had decided against spending 5 hours a day in traffic between Vancouver and Whistler assembled at 23rd & Main. Amongst them were, Impaler, M'Alice, Cream Puff, Low Blow, Machej, Big Mike, Abysmal, Chinese Dude from New West & his Quiet Bro on a bike, Roast, Fat Chick, Goes Down Easy, Long Lay, Until Next Week, Horny, Maple Dick, Banshee, Do Me First, Serena, Plunger, Hardon (for five minutes), Analyser, and Woman (large), man (a)(thin), man (b) (medium with spiky hair), man (c)(Indian-style), and Porno Prick - around twenty two actually ran...

We set-off South from the ARFANY, bearing WSW to QE Park, up and over around the Conservatory, then a beer check with CARLING BLACK LABEL - 8% of fucked-up!!!! (a well known tipple for the drunks who litter the streets in England, Wales, Scotland and Northern Ireland).alongside 33rd to the cemetary, before heading South across King Ed and E ON IN.

An elderly panel van provided hosting for more CARLING until we were reminded that the ARFANY could loose its liquor licence (and one look around the door will confirm that a liquor licence is mandatory). We huddled in the alley and set-up our wares for Down Downs.

The Hare did numerous DOWN DOWNS but had put in hours of work to make this all happen. We are all unworthy. The ARFANY hosted a splendid burger dinner and M'Alice and Roast both won large packages of meat. Fat Chick ate three honking big HAMBURGERS and won a free beer!

Next week's run is being set by somebody. The following week, the 18th, will be a Steam Bath Run with keg sponsored by the hash. Rumour has it that Captain Hymen Grinder may hare this epic. Eat your heart out, Pylon!
ON ON!
A little Valentines poetry from the hare.




And more


You are a lady with beauty and taste
With lovely boobs and a slender waist
You will have good fortune this year
if you be a good girl
and buy Plunger a beer.

You are full of strength and virility
You get all the girls of humility
You are a man so fun and witty
Now take a girl, grab her kitty, warm her up and kiss her clitty

You, great woman
Will have good fortune in coin
if you caress a hot man's groin
with the hash you should rejoin
to drink, be merry, and lick some tasty loin

You are a lovely lady for sure
Bright and hot and oh so pure
if you want good fortune to secure
then find yourself a wealthy entrepreneur
maybe you should dress like a whore
to add a little hook and lure.
but if you want your own good luck
then you must suck Roast's tasty muck...
until he starts to moan and buck.
Seriously, though, what you must do
Is grab Plunger and give him a screw...
A threaded fastener I mean
I hope a dirty thought you did not glean.
Now have a drink, enjoy he scene
Avoid drunken men who look unclean.

You're so hot you make men's balls ache
You make their snakes become awake
For good fortune do not mistake
Let a hasher give you a shake with his big, juicy steak
Until there is an earthquake.

You're a marvellous man
Cream of the crop
You inspire women to shake their mop
If good fortune on your list is at the top
Then you must take a hasher woman and make her cherry pop
Until you make her flop with your slop.
But beware she might close shop
If she finds you have an undesirable prop
In that case you should use some special op
To make her want to schlop

You are a man of strength and vector
Grown from a well-bred, good-looking sector
Once a girl drinks from your nectar
Your potency will have surely wrecked her

You, hot man, are strong and rigid
A sight to girls so weak and frigid
Once you wave to them your massive gidget
They're bound to retreat and rebound with their widget

Chicks dig you still
Despite your shrivelled testicles, nasty backside hair issues, and habit of not paying the bill.
The furutre looks bright for you
but if you're feeling suicidal,
feel free to put Kreme Filling in your will.

Jan 28 2012

Friday, February 03, 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1318 of 1415, Saturday, 28-January-2012
at
Billy Bishops on Labernum, Vancouver West
By
Hardon

Skid Lips (nee Squid Lips), Abysmal, Until Next Week, Mike, Pigeon Stool, Maple Dick, Slumberdick, Sheep Shagger, Manhole, Guy (friend of Jenni-May), Hardon (hare, sans doggies), Rump Roast, Impaler, Banshee, Kiss my Hairy Hole, Dangler, Spermanater, Analyser, Beheader, Not Harvey, Plunger, Jenni-May, Rita (virgin), Malice, Porno Prick and Malice. That is 25 hounds and a hare - not bad for Downtown.

It took a while but eventually the hounds pulled themselves together and off we went. The trail set-off Westerly across the fields towards Kits Yacht Club whereupon it went cold on us. Luckily the hare remained in the vicinity and after what seemed like half-a-day we heard his horn being blown well East of us and so we trundled back.

From there on it was reasonably simple: over the Burrard Bridge, and back across the Granville and South into the mean streets of Kitsilano amongst the wasted and wasteful. After much buggering about in lanes and alleys we emerged from the Kitsilano-Slop into Point Grey where pointless wealth is thrown exuberantly into the hideous mansions which dot the coastline.

The beer check consisted of chips, Pabst Blue Ribbon and sugar-coated jellied fruits - odd, but satisfying. Shagger and Roast had spent the afternoon in Darby's and thus missed the benefits of jogging in the afternoon.

Down-Downs were accomplished on the 2nd Floor at Billy Bishop's. Squid Lips was renamed Skid Lips after reading a detailed description of certain sex acts performed without enough due-dilligence and frankly it could not be ascertained whether the writer was male or female - only that the writer had no sense of smell and was not easily offended. Later in the evening, Skid Lips offered "an evening with himself" as a prize, and was absolutely devastated when the highest bid only reached $20.25 - Plunger and your scribe were astonished at Skid Lip's' drunken ramblings about how valuable an evening with him was... indeed it was reported that one gentleman hasher had plans to tie him to a tree before flogging+f---king him, should he be lucky enough to win him. As it was Skid Lips was won by a delightfully cheery grandmother who seemed quite happy with her prize, warts and all - a happy ending after all... eh? Skid Lips??!

Otherwise, the evening was a complete success with a Hot Massage and a Home Yoga Class achieving a far greater level of take-up than "an evening with Skid Lips".

On On!