Vancouver Hash House Harriers

Jan 28 2012

Friday, February 03, 2012

The Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1318 of 1415, Saturday, 28-January-2012
at
Billy Bishops on Labernum, Vancouver West
By
Hardon

Skid Lips (nee Squid Lips), Abysmal, Until Next Week, Mike, Pigeon Stool, Maple Dick, Slumberdick, Sheep Shagger, Manhole, Guy (friend of Jenni-May), Hardon (hare, sans doggies), Rump Roast, Impaler, Banshee, Kiss my Hairy Hole, Dangler, Spermanater, Analyser, Beheader, Not Harvey, Plunger, Jenni-May, Rita (virgin), Malice, Porno Prick and Malice. That is 25 hounds and a hare - not bad for Downtown.

It took a while but eventually the hounds pulled themselves together and off we went. The trail set-off Westerly across the fields towards Kits Yacht Club whereupon it went cold on us. Luckily the hare remained in the vicinity and after what seemed like half-a-day we heard his horn being blown well East of us and so we trundled back.

From there on it was reasonably simple: over the Burrard Bridge, and back across the Granville and South into the mean streets of Kitsilano amongst the wasted and wasteful. After much buggering about in lanes and alleys we emerged from the Kitsilano-Slop into Point Grey where pointless wealth is thrown exuberantly into the hideous mansions which dot the coastline.

The beer check consisted of chips, Pabst Blue Ribbon and sugar-coated jellied fruits - odd, but satisfying. Shagger and Roast had spent the afternoon in Darby's and thus missed the benefits of jogging in the afternoon.

Down-Downs were accomplished on the 2nd Floor at Billy Bishop's. Squid Lips was renamed Skid Lips after reading a detailed description of certain sex acts performed without enough due-dilligence and frankly it could not be ascertained whether the writer was male or female - only that the writer had no sense of smell and was not easily offended. Later in the evening, Skid Lips offered "an evening with himself" as a prize, and was absolutely devastated when the highest bid only reached $20.25 - Plunger and your scribe were astonished at Skid Lip's' drunken ramblings about how valuable an evening with him was... indeed it was reported that one gentleman hasher had plans to tie him to a tree before flogging+f---king him, should he be lucky enough to win him. As it was Skid Lips was won by a delightfully cheery grandmother who seemed quite happy with her prize, warts and all - a happy ending after all... eh? Skid Lips??!

Otherwise, the evening was a complete success with a Hot Massage and a Home Yoga Class achieving a far greater level of take-up than "an evening with Skid Lips".

On On!