Hash Words Jan 26

Posted by Plunger : Sunday, Jan 27, 2019

Vancouver Hash House Harriers
Run No.1691, perhaps.

Hared by Captain Hymen Grinder, 1415, Saturday, 26-January-2019.

Meet at Production Way Sky Train Station, Just to the North, at the green triangle on the West side of Production Way. No, wait, make that on the SE corner of Brighton and Lougheed in the little business mall. Nope, wait. Oh, my god, it's SO fucking confusing, let's meet on the SW side of Brighton Street, South of Lougheed; which is not an obvious meeting place for anyone, let along a bunch of hashers...

Our heads were spinning, and no, it wasn't the dope we were smoking, it was the dope setting the run! Pylon and I walked with Mr.P leading the way from Chez Pylonicus Maximus to Production Way, right at the last minute we were passed by 3D who was gesticulating as only a man driving BMW can do - sparingly. From a distance we saw what looked like a a tame beaver being followed by M'Alice and having crossed the intersection several times we decided that once more would be OK and, finally, we found them. It wasn't Tame Beaver (we wished it were) but the Captain suffering from Bieber Fever, it was Team Bieber!

Captain Hymen Grinder, Hare, speaking Bieberish
Sheep Shagger, I fell off my bike and cracked a couple of ribs and they hurt
Dangler, all 186 pounds of him and the energy and speed of a diabetic 19lb pussy
Plunger, head spinning, and watching Dangler waving at him and thinking to himself: I will not wave at a man in a hoody
Beheader, found at the side of the road searching for Harvey, the invisible 6ft rabbit
Porno Prick, we've been through this before
3D, a man with blue shoes, really funky blue shoes
M'Alice, Hey, Missing Link says why..?
Pylon & MrP, stick with me

The hare's instructions were clearly the result of an infatuation. Bieber this, Bieber that, Bieber the other. We speculated it might be a error in pronunciation, and that there would be Beaver everywhere, but no, Bieber it was. South, East, North up Gagliardi, West to the Bieber, I mean Beer Check, under the tracks. Shagger, Dangler and P2 retired to Degeraat for beers and jerky. We were able to share useful advice with Dangler on the topic of fitness and munching on jerky reminded us that wanking probably produces the same energy as walking a mile, and that henceforth and forthwith he should always wear his pedometer on the wrist to which his wanking hand. Is attached. Not just good advice, but free to.

Down Downs were held adjacent to the Sky Train Station, Shagger led the proceedings and we imbibed sparingly to respect the Bieberishness of the whole affair. We wondered why only Eight hashers turned-up when the run was clearly posted on F'book. Ah, not on the website. Thoughts turned to warm pubs, beer and food, Degeraat does not serve the latter. So, Stan's Pizza it was. Not the perfect venue as the CO2 was crook, but still, there was Pilsner and coffee. A good time was had by all and we staggered off with full bellies and a good laugh.

Thank you Captain Hymen Grinder, and long may your Bieber-Geist bring you spiritual well-being. The rest of us will be leave it in beaver.

On On On!

Next week's hare is known only unto herself - but rumour has it she is blonde and maybe moving to N Vancouver.
Posted by Plunger on 01/27 at 09:43 AM

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